...since i last wrote in this.
i dn't know why, jsut been too preoccupied with other stuff i guess. my life is so different now.
so today i'm offically eight weeks out from surgery. eight weeks. so long and so short all at the same time. it's funny, becasue as much as i never would admit it my life totally revolved around food all the time. constantly thinking about what i'd eat later, how i could stop and get some fries without anyone knowing. planning things to the point of obseesing about what theperson at drive thru thought of my order. was it too much? did they assume it was all for me? maybe i should order a ton, then they'd know it wasn't for me. once, a loooong time ago i even pretended to be on my cell phone confiming what th other person wanted as an order at thepickup window. you know, so they'd know it wasn't all for me. how sad is that? i've never admitted that before. weird.
so now? my life revolves around food even more! i feel like i'm eating ALL DAY LONG and always trying to plan what my next thing to eat is, having to keep track of everything. it's exhausting. worth it, but exhasuting. in fact went to see a nutritionist for counseling today to ake sure i was on track. crazy.
add in the problem that i'm supposed to be ultra fertile right now, yet i can't get pregnant for 2 years (not that i would before then anyhow) and no concensus seems to be made over what form of bc is best for "us."
and let's not talk about what i eat. cheese. it's all cheese. oh and pork rinds. how effed up is that shit? not what i pictured. but gotta go with what you can "tolerate" there's a word i've grown to hate. oh that and "plateau" ugh.
all in all i guess i can't complain. i've not had any major complications at all.
in other news, we got the garden for the wedding ceremony. i'm stoked about that. a little pricey, but gorgeous. really lovely.
and my mom and dad are coming to visit. in a few weeks. my dad has never been out here, so that's neat. we'll see. my mom wants to go to look at dresses. don't get me wrong, i want to as well, but i have no idea what i'll be like come wedding time, so it's not like i can really pick one out.
oh, and we'll end this on a hppy note. getting reay to go to sleep the other day. all cuddled up and just starting to drift off. very content. out of nowhere alex says "i'm so ready to spend the rest of my life with you."
