7.24.2007

wesley

i can't believe the little guy is already 9 weeks old. where has the time gone?

i had wanted to post about his birth, but it seems like a lifetime ago. i still want to get it up though, in case i forget the details. although now that seems unlikely.

at any rate... as i had said we dropped my mother off at the airport about 6pm. about 8 our friend brent came over to watch the pistons game with us and to bring some of alex's favorite pizza. and even as i ate a slice i remember thinking, i hope this doesn't come back to haunt my later. i had been having contractions a little around then but since i had pretty much been having them for weeks i didn't think much of it. we started watching the game and they were coming a lot harder and faster. but again, this wasn't unusual or me. i started to get uncomfortable and decided to head up to bed. it was around 9:30. i figured i'd take the doctor's advice and take some benadryl and lay down. as i had been doing about every night for 2 weeks. about 30 minutes later i realized that not only wasn't i asleep but these contractions were a lot more painful than the ones that had gotten me admitted previously. but after having been admitted twice, i was a little gun shy about heading to the hospital.

at any rate, i decided to call down for alex and tell him that something was going on. he sent brent home and then we debated about calling the doctor. once i stopped being able to talk to him we called and waited for a call back... and waited... and waited. it was probably about 10:30 and i was now quite vocal with each contraction. alex decided it was time to go and i found that i had a really hard time walking at this point. i got into the car and we took the longest 10 minute ride tot he hospital ever. i know he hit every red light and felt so helpless as i was writing in pain and moaning really loudly.

when we got there he pulled up to the door and ran in for a wheel chair. their was a woman at the desk that took me as he went to park and wheeled me to the elevator. i remember her asking if we should wait for him and i was like "no! he knows where to go!" but somehow he came bolting into the lobby right before the doors closed. when we got to the floor, it was, of course, crowded. the last two times it had been deserted. he filed out the papers as i tried not to be too loud with the waiting room full. i remember wondering why it was taking them so long to get me into triage.

once we were in it was really hard to get undressed as the contractions were coming practically on top of each other. there was no break at all between them. when they finally checked me, i was already 6cm dilated. that made me think two things immediately. one, this was real and they were going to keep me this time. and, two, i hope to god i wasn't going to miss my window of opportunity for an epidural.

they started moving quicker to get me over to l&d. they ended p having to wheel me down on the gurney as i couldn't move enough to walk or get into the wheelchair. i kept asking about the epidural and they kept assuring me that i was "doing amazing!" i kept thinking this is their way of telling me it's too late! and then the anesthesiologist appeared. it was a few moments after she got the epidural in that the whole thing became a much different experience. i was smiling at my nurses who i hadn't even been able to look at before. i had no pain. and even better was the news that my contractions were still regular and strong and that now it was time for us to get some rest, as it was still going to be hours. and i needed to get all my energy together for the hours of pushing ahead.

i had just gotten comfortable when barely minutes later i opened my eyes to 6 people standing over me. apparently the baby wasn't recovering fast enough after the contractions for their liking and they wanted to put in an internal monitor. sounded ok to me. only when they did it they told me "you're fully dilated, it's time to push."

what? what happened to the hours it was going to take to get there? what about my nap? i couldn't believe it was happening so fast. but since i had just gotten the drugs, i couldn't yet eel my legs enough to get into position to push, so they had to wait. it was a surreal experience having the nurse and alex there, just hanging out, and the doctor and med student hanging out by the end of the bed. my doctor was sitting on the bed massaging me and just chatting with everyone. the lights were low and it was really so surreal. where were the frantic births you see on tv? i asked the doctor what was going on and apparently the baby's head was visible and "there's a lot of hair."

next thing i knew it was time to push. they told me when i had a contraction and there were 3 pushes for every contraction. because the baby was slow to recover they had me push every other contraction. by the second set, suddenly half the bed was gone, the doctors were covered in protective clothing and in position. the third set was about to begin. halfway through the second push she told me to stop pushing. i panicked and asked why... and then i heard him cry. that was it. it was that easy. next think i know i hear "it's a boy" and he's on my chest.

the rest was a blur. i vaguely knew alex was cutting the cord, there some talk about placenta, but there he was. and i couldn't believe it.

***

it's been a crazy two months since he's been part of our family. we know his cries (mostly gas), how to make him happy (walks in his pouch and nursing) and what he hates (baths). there's been some disappointments, like that i can't produce enough milk (1/2 ounce at best), but we still nurse, because he likes it. he's almost doubled in size how and has the little pudgy cheeks and thighs. the best thing is that he's starting to smile. i don't care how tired you are and how much you'd rather be sleeping then getting a bottle at 3am, when he looks at you with that big gummy grin there's truly nothing greater.

i'm sad that this is my last week on maternity leave. i can't believe i have to start work again. i know we have it better than most, both working at home. and that my boss is going to work with me as we figure out the schedule and how its' all going to work, but it's still hard. i don't think i'd like to not work, but it still seems so very soon to be starting.

the next big challenge we'll have to face is our first flight as a family next month. yikes!