3.28.2007

par for the course

well i talked to my mom. for an hour and a half last night.

it went much as i expected. that is, we didn't address anything.

i wanted to take my cures from her, since she was the one who initiated the contact. she hadn't been feeling well (bronchitis) so we talked about that a little, then it basically turned into a catch up session. there were a few "digs" here and there, but it was mostly how i remember talking to her being. a lot about her, and not so much about anything i had to say. same ol, same ol.

the only reference to us not talking (oh, besides her asking me where i work now -- i've been at my new job 8 months) was when she mentioned she had been having lots of dreams about grandpa (her dad, the one i was really, really close to my entire life and i still miss terribly) and i mentioned i had too. and her theory for this was that he was trying to tell us we needed to talk. that was kinda sweet, in her way.

she also asked if i wanted her to come out when the baby was born.

when it was time to go, it was a little awkward. there was a weird pause then she was like "bye" and that was it. uh, ok.

then she called me this morning, to tell m e they think she has pneumonia now. for the record, we used to talk every single morning on my ride into work (when i had one) about whatever. so this was an old pattern. she did however say that she was glad we talked yesterday and that she had missed talking to me.

so, that's all i got.

3.27.2007

sunshine and breezes

man, i've thought for awhile that i have some form of S.A.D. and i have to believe it's true. my attitude the last few days had done a complete 360. not that i was in a particularly bad mood, but it's amazing that sitting in my new office (with my gargantuan new monitor that i have yet to hook up but clearly is much too large for my desk..) next to the windows, with them WIDE OPEN at 8am, sunshine pouring in, birds chirping and a cool breeze coming in is amazing.

please don't take it away.

i know the weather is supposed to turn again, but i will stay in my state of bliss as long as i can. although the crash is going to be rough.

proof that my attitude is totally different? i'm not at all phased by two things that would normally have me all grumpy and moody. one, i woke up with a cold. and two, i'm going to be talking to my mother this evening.

i should have plenty to say tomorrow.

3.26.2007

what's going on with mothers?

mine "wants to talk"

more to come as it develops...

happenings

let's talk about my MIL.

she's great, i love her to pieces. she just spent over two months in france with alex's old brother, wife and 2 kids that live there. apparently the wife was suffering from some pretty major PPD and they were in desperate need of help (kids just turned 1 and 3). so she dropped everything and flew over to help. no small feat for an almost 70-year-old with a bad hip and no hearing in one ear to be taking care of 2 small ones by herself, in a foreign country, in a small 2 bedroom apt that is a 4th floor walk up.

we'd email and she'd reassure me that she's be back in plenty of time for the birth, etc, although i wasn't concerned about it, i knew she would be, but the gesture was sweet.

so, that brings us to this past week. she just got back about a week ago. last thursday, alex says to me "oh i got an email from (SIL) who didn't want to tell you directly, but she talked to mom and she can't come to the shower anymore. (SIL) thought you'd be upset, but i told her you would be ok."

now, i hate to say it, but i'm not. i'm hurt. i was practically in tears. i blame it mostly on hormones, but here's the think. my MIL isn't going to come to the shower because the play group that she volunteers for had play practice that day. so she's going to that. she's not in the play, she's a co-producer or something, but that really upset me. i understand the shower isn't an emergency, or anything, but is it too much ot ask to have one grandmother there?? alex said something like "well she did leave them high and dry when she went to france, so..." and i understand commitments, i do... but i'm still upset about it.

SIL is livid and is trying to get her to come. but now the part of me that says "well clearly she's made her choice and i don't want her to come if she doesn't want to" had kicked in. sigh.

3.21.2007

what i didn't need to hear

yesterday was week 29/30 OB appointment. it was with one of the doctors we had not yet met. he seemed nice enough. we listened to the heartbeat. he told me all my tests well all fine, everything was perfect. he even indulged me in telling me which way monkey was facing, just because i was curious.

then as we were wrapping things up, telling me we were moving to the every-two-week appointments now he tells me that i should be careful. careful of what you may ask? MY WEIGHT. this caught me a little by surprise. apparently, gaining 20 pounds so far is cause for caution? with 10 weeks or so left? man alive, i thought i had done well! my goal was to stay under 35 and i figured i was right on track. he told me that "i would be happier if i stayed with a weight gain under 30." oh, would i? thanks for the news flash.

now, i try very hard not to obsess about weight and i will be honest that gaining weight is weird for me, given my history. however, with the circumstances i know i need to. i'm not crazy, i swear. but that comment got under my skin. you hear of so many people who gain so much more with pregnancies. for hours after i kept saying that i couldn't BELIEVE i got the weight warning.

i'm really trying not to let it mess with me, but apparently i'm not doing a really good job of that, am i?

ugh.

3.15.2007

it IS march, right?

why do we get teased with two days of 70 degree weather and then i wake up to snow? this is hardly fair.

also? i'm certain i'll now get (another) cold. perfect.

3.12.2007

ah, sleep, how i missed you!

i think in all my talk about T over the weekend i forgot something else that happened... i found a way to get sleep!

while staying at M's longer than planned i got to sue her air bed. now, before you get mad that she put the pregnant lady on the air bed, it was at my insistence, because i'm like that. at any rate, i slept so well saturday night (er, sunday morning) that i couldn't believe it! i chalked it up to being utterly exhausted after all the events... but sunday was the same! i realized the air bed gave me the give in my hips that i needed. needless to say, we purchased one on the way home from the airport.

i do miss sleeping with my husband even though we set it up right next to the regular bed and they are almost the same height, but i'd rather take the sleep right now. although it seems the more i get, the more i want. apparently i'm quite greedy. case in point yesterday, i slept quite well (saturday had been a long day with the far away all-day class, and stopping at a friend's house on the way home for awhile)... we got up at a reasonable hour, even with the stupid time change, and i made breakfast then could barely make it back up the stairs before i needed a nap! and i slept until noon! unheard of!

we then had a packed day full of painting and set up in the office and a trip to IKEA in which we spent way too much money, and then i was back laying down by 7! bizarre. and then i could barely get up this morning!

but i'll still take the sleep. maybe i'm making up for missing so much the last 8 months...

3.09.2007

brilliance

we have our childbirth education class tomorrow, all day. when they called me this week to confirm and let us know what we needed to bring it seemed odd. like the information they gave just didn't seem right. i'm quite familiar with our hospital and the directions on where to go just seemed to not jive.

we were in the car at the time of the call, so when we got home alex checked the site to see what was up... turns out i had signed up for the class... at the WRONG hospital. not the one that is 5 minutes from our house, no, no. i signed us up at the class that is almost an HOUR from our house.

of course, all the classes are now full so we go to this or we miss out on it. seems like we'll be getting up early tomorrow! so much for meeting some locals...

3.08.2007

perspective

well my trip to connecticut certainly was interesting!

i left hoping alex was going to get some work done on the house in my absence as i was really starting to get stressed out about it...

i arrived wednesday and i was pretty busy on the project i'm working on through friday. friday the rest of the company (including my team) started arriving and that was really great. it's the first time all four of the people in my group were all together and it was really nice to be able to talk to everyone together. one of my coworkers got to see just how crazy the PM i'm working with is so that was also a bonus. generally it was a nice time. everyone went out partying after our reception at the hotel but i took my pregnant self to bed!

saturday was the all-day meeting which was about as thrilling as an all-day meeting can be. i realized in our division of the company (about 65 people) there are FOUR women total. that was kind of surprising to see, but i guess i shouldn't have been that shocked.

after that i packed up and headed over to my friend's house who was hosting my mini-shower. i was very excited for it and to see her and my another good friend who was driving down for the party from new hampshire. both of us were arriving early so we could spend time together before the rest of the people came.

M (the host) had just finished setting things up and we were hanging in the kitchen chatting waiting for T to arrive. she had called about 15 minutes before so we knew she was close. shortly thereafter the doorbell rang... which we thought was odd, no one really uses the doorbell, they usually just come right on up. of course we expected T but it was actually one of M's neighbors from across the street. telling is that we needed to come outside.

turns out the T was turning left into M's driveway and didn't see the SUV coming right at her...

by the time they had come to get us, the neighbor, who was a pediatric nurse, had pulled T out of the car since it was smoking badly and she didn't appear to have head/neck injuries. her car was completely totalled and she was sitting on a chair witha blanket and a cloth for her face (she had gotten cuts and burns from the impact/airbag.)

all in all it could have been much worse! but wo much has happened to T in the last few months that this was just completely unbelievable. ii ended up riding with her to the hospital in the ambulance while M contacted everyone to tell them the party was off and them et us the ER.

they ended up keeping her for a few days, she did have some internal injuries but should be just fine. i ended up rescheduling my flight so i could stay longer. it was just insanity.

when alex picked me up that airport he finally told me that while i was gone, he had worked on the floor.. and had accidentally punctured a water pipe which resulted in water going through all levels of the house. he fixed the pipe amazingly and the other real damage was the giant hole in the ceiling on the first floor he had to make in order to drain the water and get to the pipe. at that point, all i could do was laugh. really in the scheme of things? not that big of a deal. not after what T had gone through over the weekend! i can't imagine why he didn't want to tell me while i had been calling him from the ER with updates.

funny how your perspective can change so drastically in such a short time, isn't it?

and in the end, this is what i got to be surprised with!