auto-immune disease anyone?

ok, so i met with the NO again yesterday. learned some stuff, feel slightly better actually. apparently it is optic neuritis. why? well, frankly because it's not anything else. after getting tested for a crapload of stuff that all came back negative, that's our best guess. that, and it seems to be getting a little better. and optic neurotis does that, gets better on it's own, at it's own pace. well, ok. i can live with that.

then came the trickier question. how do we stop it from happening again? and is there REALLY no correllation to surgery since that does seem like one heck of a fluke. well, he says, i guess it does, sort of.

how's that? well, i guess when you have surgery your immune system is really low. and as it builds back up you're more susceptible to "catching" auto-immune diseases. kind of like pregnancy he says, they say the best "cure" for ms is pregnancy, while you're pregnant you won't show it. however, right after you give birth is the time when most people develop ms if they're going to.

what a segue.... so.... since we were talking about ms... my chances are still about 30% of developing ms in the next 5 years. however, that's assuming that i do not have a reoccurring episode of ON. if that happens, my percentages skyrocket. i will have another mri in june/july. if that's "clean" then my percentages go down. but i will continue to be monitored yearly after that. if those remain unchanged and no more ON then i'm pretty clear.

but here is the interesting part. i might never get ms. this *could* be a fluke. how's that? well, because my father had lupus when i was conceived. he died 4 years later. i have the genes. however, apparently there's no "lupus gene." what happens is that it makes you more susceptible to all auto-immune diseases in general. so i could get any of them basically. whatever got aggravated when i had surgery decided to attack my optic nerve. it could have been anything. now, this could be isolated, or it could have set of the chain of events for ms for me. we just don't know.

upside? i got the ok to have lasik! woo! gotta look at the bright side.

sometimes i am so stupid

so it's about 3:30. i often want a snack around 3:30. but i'm not really hungry today, but still feel the 3:30 urge. so i walk into the kitchen and there are bagels on the table. now, i generally stay away from bread altogether as it generally makes me feel crappy, but sometimes a bite is nice, and i know it would satisfy my "hunger." (plus with a little cream cheese it even has some protein, albeit not much.)

so i cut a teeny piece off a raisin one, put a glob of cream cheese on it and bite it in half. chew chew chew... hmmm. this isn't right. i look at the second bite in my hand. and then i realize. it's not raisin. it's chocolate chip! panic ensues as i spit out the bite in my mouth. how could i be so dumb??!?!?!!? was a bite of bagel really worth that? no, i think not.

so now i sit here with a v. unhappy and loudly grumbly belly. even a little light-headed a dare say. (although i could be imagining that). all this from a spit-out bite. thank god i realized it when i did.

idiot.

not that interesting

so there are plenty of blogs that i read, and i check them every day, sometimes muliple times a day and love reading them. and then it makes me realize how uninteresting i am. and when i think about it, that's not necessarily true, but i guess i think it is.

at any rate here's what's new.

wedding planning is going well. we have almost have the save-the-dates ready to go out. like a month late, but whatev. sealing wax and printing the envelopes are proving more time consuming than i thought. especially since a certian finacee didn't get all his addresses in. *ahem*

that reminds me, i need to schedule an appointment with the florist so we can pick flowers. i think that's the last thing that hasn't been decided. i can't believe i'm getting married in 5 months. so. crazy.

eye stuff... nothig new there. the doctor agrees that new glasses will help me some. so we're looking for frames. i'm kind of glad since i hate my current ones and they're WAY TOO BIG for my face now. but all i think about while looking at all these funky frames is that these will be in my wedding pictures. and that makes me sad. sure, i can take them off for the formal pictures, but all the ceremony ones and after ones will have them. boy, i did not want to have glasses for my wedding. but given the situation i do not think i'll have a choice. but i don't want to get non-funky glasses just for that, so i might have to get a special wedding pair. i guess that's not horrible. i could use them for more formal occassions. bah.

not the end of the world i supppose.

work is eh. things aren't turning around. i'm afraid they're goign to have to let someone go. that's scary. after the wedding i need to get my stuff updated, site back up and start loooking for new position i guess. we'll see.

oh, and my case wroker called yesterday to see if i'd speak at a pre-op informational seminar tomorrow. i'm kind of excited about that. i secretly hope that they will want to use me in a commercial... is that wrong?? :)