so what's new?

my bandages are off, stitches were removed and everything is healing. that's good. not really anxious to do the other leg still.

i just have to post this photo because i think it's cute. yes, i think i'm cute.



The thing about it is, when I first saw this picture, I did think it was cute but then I immediately thought "well, i look a lot thinner than i am because of the way i'm standing." odd huh? the point is, my head hasn't caught up with my body. at all. i truly have no perception of myself. i can look at those pants and think "daaaaamn they're huge!" and i REMEMBER wearing them, and them being snug. i remember the trip to new orleans when i wore those same jeans in my big before shot.

so what's the deal? the best way i can think to explain it is that since it has happened so fast, and that i keep buying smaller clothes my clothes always fit the same. yes, they are smaller sizes, but it's all relative.

and i don't know what's happening but i'm really annoyed with some of my friends lately. one in particular. and then it gets me thinking, why are we still friends? true, we've been friends since high school, but so what? we clearly are SUCH different people now. and we're so far apart... what am i holding on to? you know?

bah.

i don't have all that much else to say, i'm getting really excited for the wedding. really. less than 4 months now. v v exciting.

it's never what i expect

so i had my first leg surgery. it's supposed to be several teeny incisions, take an hour or less, i'll have to wear support in my leg for two weeks, then done! my then i could even have the other leg done.

well fab!

yeah, if it had worked out that way.

so i have the surgery. we start with the worse leg first, seems reasonable, right? yeah, ok. so it takes THREE hours. i feel really badly for alex who was freaking out in the waiting room. understandably so.

i wake up, we go home, all is fine. i have to come into work the next day because there is some sort of huge server catastrophe at work and i can't work from home. ok, fine. i go the next day, time to get my staples removed. alex lost track counting after 50. what the heck? then when he gets to the top (started at the bottom) he tells me "i had to make one incision bigger than i would have liked."

great. still take the staples out but tells me it looks ok. then i go home and work form home that day. i go to use the restroom and see that my bandage/wrap thing is all bloody at the top. that "bigger" incision has opened. i panic, realizing it's 4:26 and his office closes at 4:30. i hobble down the stairs to get my purse with his card in it and mercifully reach the office in time. he's already gone, but they'll have him call me. and truly he does call within a few minutes. come in, he says. i'll meet you at the hospital in 15 and we'll sew it up.

ok so we hope in the car and head over to the hospital and sure enough, he sews it up. fun. i get all bandaged up again and head home. go to work the next day. about 2 pm run to the bathroom again and again notice a bloody bandage. you know why? ALL THE STITCHES had busted open! fab. i call him, talk to him, he says i have an appointment in the morning ad he'll check it again.

so i go in first thing in the morning. apparently he didn't believe me that all the stitched had busted open, he's never, ever seen that happen before. of course not. of course that would only happen to me. he's all flustered but resolves to re-stitch it all back up. wraps me up and i'm on my way again.

i'm praying it stays closed this time. i then preceded to have a night's worth of press checks, i was pretty wiped at this point. alex wanted me to go to ohio with him but i stayed home and slept and watched some tivo for the weekend. it was nice. and stayed off the leg too.

monday morning i went in and as the bandage was still on, i didn't know if i was still closed of not. he pulled it off and we were both pleased to see that the stitches were still in. i have to go see him tomorrow morning to see how it goes. hopefully i will be able to stop wearing the bandages and he will see if he wants to take the stitches out. if he hesitates at all, i'm gonna tell him to keep them in. for the love of god i don't need that to happen again.

i was also, mercifully, able to take a shower monday. after a while week "sponge bathing." man, was that great.

i still don't really know what my leg looks like aas it's covered in steri-strips, bandages and old sharpie marks from where he marked it on the morning of surgery. pretty.

this wasn't all what it was cracked up to be. oh, and it made my optic neuritis flare up too. not really excited about getting the other one done.