..should DEFINITELY stay there.
now i know why this slogan is such a success. seriously. we had the worst. christmas. ever.
i'm too done with it right now to even explain. let's just leave it at i spoke to my mom on the phone on christmas day briefly and i haven't SEEN her since christmas eve. yeah, we were all staying in the same suite. it's not pretty.
i wonder how long it will be before i hear from her again.
i'm still trying to figure out exactly what we did wrong.....
12.30.2005
12.22.2005
one year ago today
my granfather died.
it was a horrible last month or so for us. i'm so grateful that i got to spend that time with him and that he knew who i was most of the time and we communicated. but it was heartwrenching and so draining on my mom and i. i wouldn't have traded that experience for anything. i woould have loved him to have been able to be at my wedding. but it was his time.
which is why this yeah my family is going to vegas for christmas. it was always my grandpa's big day. he's put on his santa hat and pass out the gifts one by one. we all had our spots where we'd sit and he'd pretend not ot be be able to read the tags then get mad if more than one present for the same person was in a row. he'd save all his gifts until the end. then there was always the traditional "oops i forgot gift." we all miss him terribly.
so this year, a change of pace, and cleaning of the slatem if you will. it will be too painful to go through the old traditions which would really be new anyway since my parents have moved and all... but this year my mom wants vegas. so vegas it is.
we leave tomorrow at 2pm. ought to be interesting.
happy holidays to everyone. hope you spend it the way you hope to with the people you love.
it was a horrible last month or so for us. i'm so grateful that i got to spend that time with him and that he knew who i was most of the time and we communicated. but it was heartwrenching and so draining on my mom and i. i wouldn't have traded that experience for anything. i woould have loved him to have been able to be at my wedding. but it was his time.
which is why this yeah my family is going to vegas for christmas. it was always my grandpa's big day. he's put on his santa hat and pass out the gifts one by one. we all had our spots where we'd sit and he'd pretend not ot be be able to read the tags then get mad if more than one present for the same person was in a row. he'd save all his gifts until the end. then there was always the traditional "oops i forgot gift." we all miss him terribly.
so this year, a change of pace, and cleaning of the slatem if you will. it will be too painful to go through the old traditions which would really be new anyway since my parents have moved and all... but this year my mom wants vegas. so vegas it is.
we leave tomorrow at 2pm. ought to be interesting.
happy holidays to everyone. hope you spend it the way you hope to with the people you love.
12.20.2005
and more with pictures
this weekend i surpassed a milestone that was only a dream 18 months ago. i have now officially lost over 200 pounds. (202 as of today, but who's couting.) i'm within EIGHT pounds of having a "normal" weight. EIGHT POUNDS. i can't believe it.
it's been quite a year i'll admit.
If you're so inclined, take a peek.
it's been quite a year i'll admit.
If you're so inclined, take a peek.
12.12.2005
two rooms down, one to go
we're kicking some serious house butt latey.
in two weekends we conquered the big room. pulled up up the rug, painted, tore down all the tile around the fireplace, tore down that weird railing that seperated it from the kitchen, got new speakers, ran the wiring (through the walls) and put down bamboo floor #2.
oh, and we hung the new ceiling fan too. ok, alex did that, on the top of the 12' ladder. very. carefully. i don't have pictures of that yet.
all we need to do is build the bar, retile around the fireplace, hang the tv and put up the new mantle too. oh, and the curtains. i'm gonna make them. since they need to be 11' tall. and 11' tall curtains are really expensive, especially when you need 6.
but yay!
in two weekends we conquered the big room. pulled up up the rug, painted, tore down all the tile around the fireplace, tore down that weird railing that seperated it from the kitchen, got new speakers, ran the wiring (through the walls) and put down bamboo floor #2.
oh, and we hung the new ceiling fan too. ok, alex did that, on the top of the 12' ladder. very. carefully. i don't have pictures of that yet.
all we need to do is build the bar, retile around the fireplace, hang the tv and put up the new mantle too. oh, and the curtains. i'm gonna make them. since they need to be 11' tall. and 11' tall curtains are really expensive, especially when you need 6.
but yay!
12.05.2005
a new obsession
i love bloglines. i have heard people talk about it and i finally looked into it. i have all the sites i read in my list. it's FABULOUS! i only need to check one place and then i can see if there's anything new. lovely! now, the only problem since it takes up so much less time i need all of you guys to post more often so i have things to keep my occupied! work, bah. who needs it. actually things are picking up so it's very convenient to have this nifty feature. maybe i need some new sites to read. yes, that must be it. i have also, finally, caught up with everything since i stopped reading before the wedding/honeymoon/etc. so i feel all up to date. it's such a strange phenomenon, i feel like i "know" some of these people and clearly i so don't. it's very interesting.
i was so excited, Day, to get a comment from you. and i replied (or tried to) but you didn't put in your email. and i know i can get it from your site, but then i felt like i wasn't sure if i was "supposed" to since you didn't leave it there... i'm new at that, actual comments. it's crazy! but thank you, and i hope all is going well with the move.
i was so excited, Day, to get a comment from you. and i replied (or tried to) but you didn't put in your email. and i know i can get it from your site, but then i felt like i wasn't sure if i was "supposed" to since you didn't leave it there... i'm new at that, actual comments. it's crazy! but thank you, and i hope all is going well with the move.
12.02.2005
and another one?
there's another friend of mine getting divorced. now. also, not a surprise so much though. but still hard. because they have a little boy. alex and i saw this one coming from a mile away though. she's young (25) he's not much older. high-school sweethearts, married for 4 or 5 years now i guess. their son is 3. sounds good right? well it was.
i met her through an online wls support group. she was a few months ahead of me post-op and she helped me through things and we shared our experiences and craziness and all that. she also has become obsessed with "completing her transformation" which has included A LOT of plastic surgery. for months, even before she started, she stopped wearing her wedding ring because it was "too big" and would constantly tell me about the guys hitting on her all the time or checking her out constantly. now, i had surgery 3 months after getting engaged. my ring only fit for a few months, for the rest of the time until about a month before the wedding i had a huge sizer put in. no way was i not wearing it. it was very important to me. (i ended up having to get it sized to a 5 from a 10). and i suppose i must have guys checking me out, but i don't notice. and i think guys flirt with me but i don't pay any heed. partially cuz it's new to me and mostly because i don't care. so it always surprised me that this was a constant topic for her.
so she's done a bunch of plastic surgery and always seems to be going out. she doesn't work (she was ina major car accident that required a major knee operation in which she had to lose weight first, hence the wls, and she just recently had that knee surgery too amidst all the ps). anyway, we just weren't surprised to hear they were separated.
now she did not want to go into the details online, understandable, but i wonder wether it's her wanting to be free to be the new her, if it's him being jealous of the new attention she's receiving and can't handle the way she's treating it, or if there was an event. i guess i'll find out eventually, or maybe i never will. but it's interesting that i was discussing her (abstractly) at my talk this week because i hear of this happening all too often, of relationships/friendships crumbling when you have wls because either the person changes and wants to get out of the relationships they are in or the other people can't handle the change, the new confidence in the person or can't handle being the bigger person (with friendships) etc.
i knew that was a possibility, and i also knew the friendships were too solid for that. thank goodness i was right.
i met her through an online wls support group. she was a few months ahead of me post-op and she helped me through things and we shared our experiences and craziness and all that. she also has become obsessed with "completing her transformation" which has included A LOT of plastic surgery. for months, even before she started, she stopped wearing her wedding ring because it was "too big" and would constantly tell me about the guys hitting on her all the time or checking her out constantly. now, i had surgery 3 months after getting engaged. my ring only fit for a few months, for the rest of the time until about a month before the wedding i had a huge sizer put in. no way was i not wearing it. it was very important to me. (i ended up having to get it sized to a 5 from a 10). and i suppose i must have guys checking me out, but i don't notice. and i think guys flirt with me but i don't pay any heed. partially cuz it's new to me and mostly because i don't care. so it always surprised me that this was a constant topic for her.
so she's done a bunch of plastic surgery and always seems to be going out. she doesn't work (she was ina major car accident that required a major knee operation in which she had to lose weight first, hence the wls, and she just recently had that knee surgery too amidst all the ps). anyway, we just weren't surprised to hear they were separated.
now she did not want to go into the details online, understandable, but i wonder wether it's her wanting to be free to be the new her, if it's him being jealous of the new attention she's receiving and can't handle the way she's treating it, or if there was an event. i guess i'll find out eventually, or maybe i never will. but it's interesting that i was discussing her (abstractly) at my talk this week because i hear of this happening all too often, of relationships/friendships crumbling when you have wls because either the person changes and wants to get out of the relationships they are in or the other people can't handle the change, the new confidence in the person or can't handle being the bigger person (with friendships) etc.
i knew that was a possibility, and i also knew the friendships were too solid for that. thank goodness i was right.
12.01.2005
it's not as sordid as it sounds, i don't think
so i have a friend of mine that i've been friends with for about 13 years or so. not my closest friend by any stretch, but always there and stuck around through my horrible last relationship (including the retreating from everyone, suicide attempt, etc etc) and anyone who stuck around through all that, well, that's a good friend.
anyway. she got married a few weeks after i moved back to michigan. i was unable to afford to be there for it, but sad to say, i did not take it seriously. she was one of those types that felt like she HAD to get married at a certain time. i never liked him and didn't think it was a good idea, but it was not my decision to make. her family is well off and it was a HUGE wedding. HUGE (think over 400 people).
i think they had a pretty rocky one, but she hid a lot from me, her parents, everyone. she's very concerned about appearances, even though i stressed to her that i could relate! can't make someone talk. she'd accidentally send me emails meant for him (we have the same name) and so i got some insight.
i was scared when she started talking about trying to get pregnant to "save" the marriage, cuz that works.
she started talking separating this summer. i urged her to do what was best. but every time she'd start sounding serious she'd back off with excuses like "well, i'm not sure he's take care of the cats if i moved out." and so it continued. i'd gently ask her how things were going and then i got the "we went out to dinner and talked and everything is fine now." yeah, ok, i believe that.
he refused to accompany her to my wedding. she was a bridesmaid. she said they could not afford for both of them to fly here. fair enough, i couldn't afford to go to hers, i understand that. (come to find out later he refused to come because i did not go to theirs and he had forbade her to be in mine, luckily she did not listen. but that's another story). i knew he had destroyed her self-esteem over the 6 years they had been together. she went from the assertive/loud/confident person to a shy/introverted/self-deprecating one. and it was sad to see. i hoped that coming here to michigan and being away from him would help her get the strength to leave him.
now, another good friend of mine that i work with but did not really socialize with was also part of the wedding. the reason we did not socialize is that he was in a horrible relationship too, and it just wasn't a good scene. he's a great guy but she had some major issues, they fought all the time and she was a big drinker and that's just not our scene (they broke up in the summer when she decided she wanted to move to california). like a month before the wedding i asked him if he'd be in charge of the music for the ceremony. it was all being run off an ipod and the processional was rather complicated and having someone in charge was needed. he agreed and we were all set.
now, being my wedding and all, i was a little oblivious to the goings on around me at the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. although i knew all the girls were quite taken by said guy friend. he was their entertainment hands down, which was actually kind of nice. but it wasn't until my side was hanging out after the rehearsal dinner in the hotel lounge when h came up to me and said "dude, you did not TELL me how cute she is!" to which i responded "but she's married." and then one of the other girls pointed out to me that she was not wearing her wedding rings. ponderous.
so my guy friend, being a biker, took the girls on spins around town, which they loved. hell, i love riding on it around town when he rides to work. and everyone was having a good time. end of night, he had to stay, too much to drink and ended up staying in the room with two of the bridesmaids as i was staying with my maid of honor that night.
nothing happened, since it was a group deal and i left on my honeymoon and all was well. when i got back i realized that they had been talking like every day since the wedding and that she had started divorce proceedings.
since then (remember my wedding was sept 10) she's gotten her own apartment, all the papers are filed and the court date is in a few weeks.
now the thing is, my two friends are together now. she did not cheat on her husband while she was here. but they are definitely an item now. she's coming here for the week between christmas and new years. and they wheels are in motion for her to move here at the end of the school year (she's a teacher).
now i never thought of them as a couple, as that was not a possibility in my mind. but knowing them both very well, it works. absolutely. also, knowing them both, i know their feelings are legit. she'd already turning back into the person i knew before. which is so great to see. her friend and family on the east coast don't see it that way. they think she's leaving her husband for him. and that's not the case. at all. her marriage was over a long time ago but since she hid so much from everyone, well, they didn't know.
it's weird now things work out. the prospect of her being here and so close to me again is so not something i ever thought would happen, and truthfully, i'm pretty excited. for them and for me.
anyway. she got married a few weeks after i moved back to michigan. i was unable to afford to be there for it, but sad to say, i did not take it seriously. she was one of those types that felt like she HAD to get married at a certain time. i never liked him and didn't think it was a good idea, but it was not my decision to make. her family is well off and it was a HUGE wedding. HUGE (think over 400 people).
i think they had a pretty rocky one, but she hid a lot from me, her parents, everyone. she's very concerned about appearances, even though i stressed to her that i could relate! can't make someone talk. she'd accidentally send me emails meant for him (we have the same name) and so i got some insight.
i was scared when she started talking about trying to get pregnant to "save" the marriage, cuz that works.
she started talking separating this summer. i urged her to do what was best. but every time she'd start sounding serious she'd back off with excuses like "well, i'm not sure he's take care of the cats if i moved out." and so it continued. i'd gently ask her how things were going and then i got the "we went out to dinner and talked and everything is fine now." yeah, ok, i believe that.
he refused to accompany her to my wedding. she was a bridesmaid. she said they could not afford for both of them to fly here. fair enough, i couldn't afford to go to hers, i understand that. (come to find out later he refused to come because i did not go to theirs and he had forbade her to be in mine, luckily she did not listen. but that's another story). i knew he had destroyed her self-esteem over the 6 years they had been together. she went from the assertive/loud/confident person to a shy/introverted/self-deprecating one. and it was sad to see. i hoped that coming here to michigan and being away from him would help her get the strength to leave him.
now, another good friend of mine that i work with but did not really socialize with was also part of the wedding. the reason we did not socialize is that he was in a horrible relationship too, and it just wasn't a good scene. he's a great guy but she had some major issues, they fought all the time and she was a big drinker and that's just not our scene (they broke up in the summer when she decided she wanted to move to california). like a month before the wedding i asked him if he'd be in charge of the music for the ceremony. it was all being run off an ipod and the processional was rather complicated and having someone in charge was needed. he agreed and we were all set.
now, being my wedding and all, i was a little oblivious to the goings on around me at the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. although i knew all the girls were quite taken by said guy friend. he was their entertainment hands down, which was actually kind of nice. but it wasn't until my side was hanging out after the rehearsal dinner in the hotel lounge when h came up to me and said "dude, you did not TELL me how cute she is!" to which i responded "but she's married." and then one of the other girls pointed out to me that she was not wearing her wedding rings. ponderous.
so my guy friend, being a biker, took the girls on spins around town, which they loved. hell, i love riding on it around town when he rides to work. and everyone was having a good time. end of night, he had to stay, too much to drink and ended up staying in the room with two of the bridesmaids as i was staying with my maid of honor that night.
nothing happened, since it was a group deal and i left on my honeymoon and all was well. when i got back i realized that they had been talking like every day since the wedding and that she had started divorce proceedings.
since then (remember my wedding was sept 10) she's gotten her own apartment, all the papers are filed and the court date is in a few weeks.
now the thing is, my two friends are together now. she did not cheat on her husband while she was here. but they are definitely an item now. she's coming here for the week between christmas and new years. and they wheels are in motion for her to move here at the end of the school year (she's a teacher).
now i never thought of them as a couple, as that was not a possibility in my mind. but knowing them both very well, it works. absolutely. also, knowing them both, i know their feelings are legit. she'd already turning back into the person i knew before. which is so great to see. her friend and family on the east coast don't see it that way. they think she's leaving her husband for him. and that's not the case. at all. her marriage was over a long time ago but since she hid so much from everyone, well, they didn't know.
it's weird now things work out. the prospect of her being here and so close to me again is so not something i ever thought would happen, and truthfully, i'm pretty excited. for them and for me.
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