must every major holiday have a cloud hanging over it?

last christmas was rough. very rough. i mean, having my beloved grampa's funeral on christmas eve, it doesn't' get much more brutal than that. having spend the previous month sitting at his bedside with my mom watching him die. it was very hard. i mean, for weeks i was the only one who could get him to eat or drink anything, and when he started praying, oh man. and christmas was always his thing. he wore the santa hat and handed out the gifts. needless to say, it wasn't very festive. and this year my parents are going to vegas for christmas and we're going because i know my mom needs me with her this year.

so, now alex's dad is in the hospital. he has all the same things my grampa had, chf, diabetes, etc etc. and he is roughly the same age. my grampa was 77. young. his dad is early 70s. so.... not all that dissimilar. he had the heart attach monday. as of yesterday they found some blockages. they are doing tests right now to determine if he needs a bypass. alex is a mess. i feel like an old pro. i know the hospital drill, we did it for years with gramps. so, i dare say tomorrow will be a hospital bedside day. and that's ok. we gotta do what we gotta do, right? as much as my FIL annoys me and frustrates me, i know how close they are and i'm behind that and will do whatever we need to do.

don't get me started on his mother. i never had a problem with her until now. and i don't know how to deal. that's a story for another time.