it's not as sordid as it sounds, i don't think

so i have a friend of mine that i've been friends with for about 13 years or so. not my closest friend by any stretch, but always there and stuck around through my horrible last relationship (including the retreating from everyone, suicide attempt, etc etc) and anyone who stuck around through all that, well, that's a good friend.

anyway. she got married a few weeks after i moved back to michigan. i was unable to afford to be there for it, but sad to say, i did not take it seriously. she was one of those types that felt like she HAD to get married at a certain time. i never liked him and didn't think it was a good idea, but it was not my decision to make. her family is well off and it was a HUGE wedding. HUGE (think over 400 people).

i think they had a pretty rocky one, but she hid a lot from me, her parents, everyone. she's very concerned about appearances, even though i stressed to her that i could relate! can't make someone talk. she'd accidentally send me emails meant for him (we have the same name) and so i got some insight.

i was scared when she started talking about trying to get pregnant to "save" the marriage, cuz that works.

she started talking separating this summer. i urged her to do what was best. but every time she'd start sounding serious she'd back off with excuses like "well, i'm not sure he's take care of the cats if i moved out." and so it continued. i'd gently ask her how things were going and then i got the "we went out to dinner and talked and everything is fine now." yeah, ok, i believe that.

he refused to accompany her to my wedding. she was a bridesmaid. she said they could not afford for both of them to fly here. fair enough, i couldn't afford to go to hers, i understand that. (come to find out later he refused to come because i did not go to theirs and he had forbade her to be in mine, luckily she did not listen. but that's another story). i knew he had destroyed her self-esteem over the 6 years they had been together. she went from the assertive/loud/confident person to a shy/introverted/self-deprecating one. and it was sad to see. i hoped that coming here to michigan and being away from him would help her get the strength to leave him.

now, another good friend of mine that i work with but did not really socialize with was also part of the wedding. the reason we did not socialize is that he was in a horrible relationship too, and it just wasn't a good scene. he's a great guy but she had some major issues, they fought all the time and she was a big drinker and that's just not our scene (they broke up in the summer when she decided she wanted to move to california). like a month before the wedding i asked him if he'd be in charge of the music for the ceremony. it was all being run off an ipod and the processional was rather complicated and having someone in charge was needed. he agreed and we were all set.

now, being my wedding and all, i was a little oblivious to the goings on around me at the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. although i knew all the girls were quite taken by said guy friend. he was their entertainment hands down, which was actually kind of nice. but it wasn't until my side was hanging out after the rehearsal dinner in the hotel lounge when h came up to me and said "dude, you did not TELL me how cute she is!" to which i responded "but she's married." and then one of the other girls pointed out to me that she was not wearing her wedding rings. ponderous.

so my guy friend, being a biker, took the girls on spins around town, which they loved. hell, i love riding on it around town when he rides to work. and everyone was having a good time. end of night, he had to stay, too much to drink and ended up staying in the room with two of the bridesmaids as i was staying with my maid of honor that night.

nothing happened, since it was a group deal and i left on my honeymoon and all was well. when i got back i realized that they had been talking like every day since the wedding and that she had started divorce proceedings.

since then (remember my wedding was sept 10) she's gotten her own apartment, all the papers are filed and the court date is in a few weeks.

now the thing is, my two friends are together now. she did not cheat on her husband while she was here. but they are definitely an item now. she's coming here for the week between christmas and new years. and they wheels are in motion for her to move here at the end of the school year (she's a teacher).

now i never thought of them as a couple, as that was not a possibility in my mind. but knowing them both very well, it works. absolutely. also, knowing them both, i know their feelings are legit. she'd already turning back into the person i knew before. which is so great to see. her friend and family on the east coast don't see it that way. they think she's leaving her husband for him. and that's not the case. at all. her marriage was over a long time ago but since she hid so much from everyone, well, they didn't know.

it's weird now things work out. the prospect of her being here and so close to me again is so not something i ever thought would happen, and truthfully, i'm pretty excited. for them and for me.