happy birthday to me.

and what will i be doing today? going to the neuro-opthamologist 'bout the same thing i did last year on my birthday. except i had awful, painful, blinding tests done last year. which reduced me to a whimpering mess that alex had to lead around the rest of the night. we had to stop for food since it took longer than we thought. at some place i hadn't been so he needed to read me the menu then cut up my food. then we went home and i went straight to bed. it was horrible.

this is the follow up appointment i have been kind of avoiding for awhile. first it was during the honeymoon so i had to reschedule. then it was durig a week where i had other, more important appointments, so i rescheduled. then it was during the week i had off from work, perfect. then THEY called and rescheduled it for today. yeah, thanks. two years in a row, i appreciate that.

we've totally been ignoring my possible health issues. it was easy to hide behind the wedding for a long time. then we had to wait for tests. then when they never called, and just said to schedule the next round for april. (which, incidentally, i was told i had to call after the 1st of january to do. when i called on the second at 9am, april was already booked. go figure).

anyhow, i did not expect today to be anything more than a check up. but, i have been having pain in my left eye for about a month or so. i haven't mentioned it to anyone, not even alex, figured i'd just wait until today and spring it on him in the car on the way to the institute. nice, huh? we've just been so good about avoiding it. i know that's not good, but what else is there to do? it's some looming prospect that keeps us waiting every 6 months to see, do i have any lesions yet? not so fun. and i know so many have it so worse and i'm not complaining, i'm just, trying not to worry.. you know, until i have to.

BUT i could think of better ways to spend my birthday.