how things change

i feel like i've gone thorough a great upheaval in the last few weeks. like the direction i thought i was going in came to a screeching halt and now i need to make a turn and get going. planning a wedding? for like 200 people? NOT something i thought i'd be doing right now. at all. it's exciting and stressful and fun and crazy and... expensive.

i think there were certain things i wanted t have in a wedding that we're not going to be able to do/have since we're footing the bill. but it's ok. only one day, and i REFUSE to get into more debt over it. that's another thing... i wanted to get some of my ex-debt paid off before getting alex all affiliated with me and that's not going to happen. he knows how i feel about it, but he doesn't care. guess that's good.

the other thing... with my new name comes new insurance. ones that i could get approval through. so these are the choices as i see them:

1. wait until spring, get new insurance and hope to god policies don't change before then.

2. elope now, get insurance, get approval, have big wedding in a year as planned (and be happy with the photographs)

i'd really like option 2... but i dunno. he actually suggested it, although i think he was half joking. i'm doing my appeal now, if it doens't go through (it won't) i think i might press for #2. thoughts?

in the meatime, my mom is here to do the big meeting of the parents. we're looking at a place tomorrow that i'm really excited about. i have a band that i want (but i'm sure we won't be able to afford) but i DO have a great photographer lined up already that i'm really excited about.

so all in a all, a good start.