not really anything new, but more real

so i spent ALL DAY with dr stuff yesterday. i was at the eye institute from 9-2. fun. nothign really new, but now it's offical, he really told me what the 3 things that my eye could be. that i "have symptoms of all of them but not a clear-cut case of any of them." i promised myself i wouldn't freak until he actually told me this info, even though iknew already, knid of round about. well does that mean i can freak now?

i have "a 30% chance of developing ms in the next 5 years." that's based solely on what he knows right now. once i get some other testing, another mri, that percentage might change.

he wants to do the genetic testing for leber's. sends me with the orders to the lab upstairs from him. so i go and wait like an hour for them to tell me i can't get it done there withmy insurance. i need an effin referral for BLOODWORK?!?! please.

so i go back to his office and tell them that. they say to jsut take it to whatever lab i susally use. i confirm with them that any lab can do this, they say yes. ok. so i leave, it's about 2 at this point. i haven't had lunch so i'm all woozy. but i figure, get this done and then i'll address food. so i drive back the hour to the lab near me that i usually use. sign in, all set. thent he lady comes out and tells that they can't do the test there. of course they can't. she was really quite nice and tried to find somewhere i could go. but can't find a lab that works with the place in massachusetts where the test needs to be sent for analysis. guess this disease is realy rare and they need to send it to this place. i spend hours there as we tried to find some way to get it done. i didn't get home until 5. that's effed up.

so i call my pcp today, to try to figure it out. haven't heard back from them. but they were oh-so-helpful-and-kind with my last request from them that i don't expect much from them.

my mom, in her kindness, tried to see if she could het tested for it since it's agene that's passed only from the mother. she tried, which i thought was sweet, but they won't let her. well, it was a thought.

did i mention that once the test is done i don't find out for a month? and i don't see the NO again for 2 months, unless soemthing changes. so basically there si zilch i can do right now but sit back and deal. they said my eyesight hasn't changes much sinc emy last visit although i did MUCH worse on the colorblind test. which you know, no big deal. it's not like color is critical to my profession or anything.

*sigh*