3 months old?

when did that happen? that seems to be all i'm saying these days, isn't it?

let's go over the highlights:

• schedule still going well with work.


• we took our first PLANE RIDE for my annual company get-together


• he sleeps on average 7 hours a night. in a row.

can you believe it? i sure can't.

everyone that met him at the retreat loved him instantly. of course. he's so chill and laid back. he only got upset when he was over tired. which was easily remedied. flying was cake, alex and i are a rockin' team. on the flight there he nursed on take off and landing and slept during the flight. on the way home he nursed on take off then fell asleep and stayed asleep through landing, deplaning, baggage pick-up, the trek to the car, the drive home, everything.

his nh grandparents were happy to see him. it was my dad's first time meeting him, so he was pretty psyched. overall i think it was a pretty successful trip! go us!

not much else to say. he's got pretty good head control but no rolling or anything quite yet, but soon. and with the amount of drool he produces, i'm wondering how far away teeth are going to be!

here's mister smiley after his lotion application post-bath. we couldn't ask for anyone better!

back to work

i can't believe how fast 10 weeks have passed.

i started work again this monday. and, trust me, i know how lucky we are to both be working at home. originally, we had planned to keep wes home with us until he got mobile. but then we started thinking... if i couldn't manage to check my email sporadically with him home all day, how was i going to work?

so we started looking into daycares. first of all, i hate the thought of starting him this soon. i do. and no centers do part time we found out. at least not the kind of part time we wanted (mornings or afternoons as opposed to only 2 full days a week). then my SIL told me about this service here in MI where you can fill out a form with the type of daycares and locations you are looking for and then send you back a list of all the licensed ones that match your criteria.

lo and behold a few days later my email had this nice list of in-home licensed daycares RIGHT HERE IN OUR SUB! perfection!

having no other way to narrow, we started narrowing simply by daycare names. we're not particularly religious, so ones like "heavenly hands of god" got weeded out pretty quickly. (i have nothing against it, it's just not our thing).

we settled on one and called. ok, alex called. i have a huge phone phobia. it's bizarre and strange. just let it go. so we set up an appointment and went.

it was perfect. she's about our age. has two boys (3 and 5) and only watched one other girl (9 mos). plus her older son is starting school in the fall. and, of course, she fell i love with wes immediately, obviously.

oh, and the best part? we could do any schedule we wanted. so we opted for the 4-hour a day, part time option and he goes from 8:30-12:30 every day.

and can i tell you it's been better than imagined? she's so great and loves him and keeps him stimulated and busy all morning so that when we pick him up, i feed him and then he naps FOR THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON. and this doesn't even mess up his night tie sleeping. in fact, he's pretty much on a schedule now. who knew!

of course now i've cursed it.

so, basically, the transition seems to be working.

and now i even have a little helper!

wesley

i can't believe the little guy is already 9 weeks old. where has the time gone?

i had wanted to post about his birth, but it seems like a lifetime ago. i still want to get it up though, in case i forget the details. although now that seems unlikely.

at any rate... as i had said we dropped my mother off at the airport about 6pm. about 8 our friend brent came over to watch the pistons game with us and to bring some of alex's favorite pizza. and even as i ate a slice i remember thinking, i hope this doesn't come back to haunt my later. i had been having contractions a little around then but since i had pretty much been having them for weeks i didn't think much of it. we started watching the game and they were coming a lot harder and faster. but again, this wasn't unusual or me. i started to get uncomfortable and decided to head up to bed. it was around 9:30. i figured i'd take the doctor's advice and take some benadryl and lay down. as i had been doing about every night for 2 weeks. about 30 minutes later i realized that not only wasn't i asleep but these contractions were a lot more painful than the ones that had gotten me admitted previously. but after having been admitted twice, i was a little gun shy about heading to the hospital.

at any rate, i decided to call down for alex and tell him that something was going on. he sent brent home and then we debated about calling the doctor. once i stopped being able to talk to him we called and waited for a call back... and waited... and waited. it was probably about 10:30 and i was now quite vocal with each contraction. alex decided it was time to go and i found that i had a really hard time walking at this point. i got into the car and we took the longest 10 minute ride tot he hospital ever. i know he hit every red light and felt so helpless as i was writing in pain and moaning really loudly.

when we got there he pulled up to the door and ran in for a wheel chair. their was a woman at the desk that took me as he went to park and wheeled me to the elevator. i remember her asking if we should wait for him and i was like "no! he knows where to go!" but somehow he came bolting into the lobby right before the doors closed. when we got to the floor, it was, of course, crowded. the last two times it had been deserted. he filed out the papers as i tried not to be too loud with the waiting room full. i remember wondering why it was taking them so long to get me into triage.

once we were in it was really hard to get undressed as the contractions were coming practically on top of each other. there was no break at all between them. when they finally checked me, i was already 6cm dilated. that made me think two things immediately. one, this was real and they were going to keep me this time. and, two, i hope to god i wasn't going to miss my window of opportunity for an epidural.

they started moving quicker to get me over to l&d. they ended p having to wheel me down on the gurney as i couldn't move enough to walk or get into the wheelchair. i kept asking about the epidural and they kept assuring me that i was "doing amazing!" i kept thinking this is their way of telling me it's too late! and then the anesthesiologist appeared. it was a few moments after she got the epidural in that the whole thing became a much different experience. i was smiling at my nurses who i hadn't even been able to look at before. i had no pain. and even better was the news that my contractions were still regular and strong and that now it was time for us to get some rest, as it was still going to be hours. and i needed to get all my energy together for the hours of pushing ahead.

i had just gotten comfortable when barely minutes later i opened my eyes to 6 people standing over me. apparently the baby wasn't recovering fast enough after the contractions for their liking and they wanted to put in an internal monitor. sounded ok to me. only when they did it they told me "you're fully dilated, it's time to push."

what? what happened to the hours it was going to take to get there? what about my nap? i couldn't believe it was happening so fast. but since i had just gotten the drugs, i couldn't yet eel my legs enough to get into position to push, so they had to wait. it was a surreal experience having the nurse and alex there, just hanging out, and the doctor and med student hanging out by the end of the bed. my doctor was sitting on the bed massaging me and just chatting with everyone. the lights were low and it was really so surreal. where were the frantic births you see on tv? i asked the doctor what was going on and apparently the baby's head was visible and "there's a lot of hair."

next thing i knew it was time to push. they told me when i had a contraction and there were 3 pushes for every contraction. because the baby was slow to recover they had me push every other contraction. by the second set, suddenly half the bed was gone, the doctors were covered in protective clothing and in position. the third set was about to begin. halfway through the second push she told me to stop pushing. i panicked and asked why... and then i heard him cry. that was it. it was that easy. next think i know i hear "it's a boy" and he's on my chest.

the rest was a blur. i vaguely knew alex was cutting the cord, there some talk about placenta, but there he was. and i couldn't believe it.

***

it's been a crazy two months since he's been part of our family. we know his cries (mostly gas), how to make him happy (walks in his pouch and nursing) and what he hates (baths). there's been some disappointments, like that i can't produce enough milk (1/2 ounce at best), but we still nurse, because he likes it. he's almost doubled in size how and has the little pudgy cheeks and thighs. the best thing is that he's starting to smile. i don't care how tired you are and how much you'd rather be sleeping then getting a bottle at 3am, when he looks at you with that big gummy grin there's truly nothing greater.

i'm sad that this is my last week on maternity leave. i can't believe i have to start work again. i know we have it better than most, both working at home. and that my boss is going to work with me as we figure out the schedule and how its' all going to work, but it's still hard. i don't think i'd like to not work, but it still seems so very soon to be starting.

the next big challenge we'll have to face is our first flight as a family next month. yikes!

quickly...

here are a few photos, the rest are still on the camera...

my mother comes back tomorrow. *sigh*

he's here!

i have the smartest child ever. i dropped my mother off at he airport at 6:30pm. contractions started at 8, and we were admitted by 11pm. he was born at 3:54am. here's the pertinent info:

wesley michael
may 22, 2007
5lbs 4.5oz
19in long

and he's perfect. he's got so much hair! so dark, so long and curly. he's definitely got his dad's hair. i hope he doesn't lose it.

everything was so... easy. and fast. it's all really surreal. we go home today, in a few hours. alex has run out to grab a few things then we'll wrap up and head home. then it all gets real!

i'll document the story with pictures soon. :)

the good, the bad, and the... same

38 week check up today. and i'm STILL THE SAME. this kid so doesn't want to come out. nevermind i have contractions constantly and regularly and now work with a heating pad strapped to my back. oh yeah, i'm that cool.

nevermind the fact that every week i go they always tell me, "next week we can help you." as in, when i was admitted at 36 weeks, they'd break my water... if i was 37 weeks. then when i was admitted at 37 weeks, they'd induce me... if i was 38 weeks. then i kid you not alex and i burst out laughing when they told me today that 39 weeks was when they could think about intervening.

although my appointment today was with my all time favorite doctor, who was on call the second time i was admitted. who came in even though he didn't have to to see me. he kind of walked in the exam room sheepishly and was like "hey guys... how ya doin?" it was cute. then while we listened to the heart he asked if we were renaming the kid to "stubborn." i do love him. i hope he delivers this kid. you know, if it ever happens.

i was a little concerned about having lost about 5 lbs over the last week and a half. but he said it wasn't cause for concern. so that's good, i guess.

the best news though? MY MOTHER IS LEAVING TONIGHT. in a few hours no less. after my appointment last week she bought a ticket for today (since i had another appointment) if there was "no change." she wasn't all too pleased when i told her we were going to the appointment alone. yes, that's right, she insisted on coming last week. that was fun. really the biggest reason is that i wanted to take whatever the docotor did say and play it up in my favor to her.

for example, he said they wouldn't induce me (without anything happened on my end) until 41 weeks. i definitely played that up with her. saying basically that he thought i was going to need it. she was supposed to come back on saturday but i suggested she wait until WE CALL HER like i told her in the first place. and we'll of course call her just a little bit too late, if you know what i'm saying.

we are so delighted to be alone again tonight. and that we're going to do everything we can to encourage this baby to come SOON. before she has a chance to get back here. she has been... trying. and we really do want to do this on our own.

i hate waiting

i think alex and i are probably two of the most impatient people on the planet. we're planners and doers and hate the limbo phase. i remember with the wedding, we had everything we could possibly have done, done with a few months to spare and then we had to wait. and wait. and it was excruciating.

that's how we both feel now. only worse.

i know, i know. only a few more weeks at most. but i think because i progressed so far so quickly it's doubly irritating. of COURSE i want what's best for the baby, and clearly monkey isn't ready to make an appearance. i used to think people who planned c-sections were crazy. but i swear it makes so much more sense to me now! (not that i'm going to do it, but, you know.)

next appointment is monday. my mother bought a ticket home for monday night. she says she'll use it if there's no indication of any progress and will come back after. i feel bad about the whole thing, but i did tell her initially that it would be better to wait. but still... having her here is... ok. my limit with visits with her were always 3 days before i got irritated and needed it to end. we're on day 6 now. and considering how miserable i am on top of everything else, it's not so bad.

forgot to say

i had my regular check-up yesterday. all the stats are, unfortunately, the same. the room was about 300 degrees and i was totally dying.

the doctor was really nice, i liked her. she gaveme some tips to help me be more comfortable. although she did say they wouldn't help me until 38 weeks. *sigh*

i'm still having contractions, but not like they were. and she said that they need to be way worse than what i've had. and to stay home as long as i possibly could stand it, if i wanted to avoid being sent home again. makes sense, but sheesh.

now if only my water would break... :)

it can't be that much longer...right? right?!!?

the only thing worse...

than the other night is it happening all over again.

i was havng major contractions all day yesterday. after 10 hours of them and having them be less than 2 minutes apart for about 2 hours, and walking and hydrating and talking to the doctor (my favorite one was on call! i thought it was a sign!) we went back in. (all three of us, since my mom is here now) and they kept me again. and this time gave me morphine and a sleeping pill to rest as it was about 10pm by then.

and then let me go at 5am. i was so exhausted (sleeping pill/morphine really did nothing) and frustrated and overwhelmed i was just sobbing for hours. it was fun. the resitdent was a jerk and said things like "why are you so upset?" but not in a nice way. she needs to work on her bedside manner...

at any rate... who knows what's going on now. they led me to believe at 37 weeks they would help me along (today) but that wasn't the case.

so here i am, utterly exhausted, disappointed, frustrated and still dealing with the contractions. oh, and whiling away my maternity leave already. fab.

frustration

so, last night was had our pain management class at the hospital. i had also been there earlier for a doctor appointment and i kept telling monkey that hey, we were there, it was a good time! of course, to no avail.

the class went until after 9pm so when we got home i was pretty tired. alex went downstairs to watch the pistons/bulls game on the tivo and i got into bed and started watching some tv myself. i started to drift off, as usual around 10 or so.

then i was woken up by a contraction. i thought it was weird, but didn't think much of it, until i drifted off and it happened again. and again. and again. and i realized that these were different contractions, and clearly stronger as they were waking me up. i started paying attention to the timing and realized they were about 8 minutes or so apart. this went on until well after midnight when alex came to bed. surprised to find me awake, i let him know what was going on. the poor guy was so exhausted he was like, "ok, well let me get some sleep and we'll see what happens" which isn't exactly the reaction i expected. i realized they were coming much more frequently at this point and told him so and said, hey maybe we should be paying more attention to this... and then we realized they were 3 minutes apart. and they stayed that way for at least another half and hour. that's when he went into panic mode and i went into denial!

he called the ob's office and found out the one on call is the ONE we hadn't met yet (of course!) and that she'd call us back. 40 minutes later we were antsy. had the rest of the "last minute items" packed in the bag and were wondering what we should do. she finally called back, well after 1am (she had been in surgery -- whatever!) and told us to head on in.

the 10 minute drive to the hospital was so surreal. it seemed to take forever. and as much as i had been wanting to baby to come and come NOW i was freaking out a little bit, i'll admit.

we got into triage and they hooked me all up to everything and we realized the contractions were now less than two minutes apart. the doctor said i was 4cm, 80% effaced and -1 station. she asked if i would mind if she broke my water. i honestly wasn't sure what to say to that, but she said that they'd admit me, they'd monitor me for about another 20 minutes then we'd decide. at this point, it all seemed to be happening so fast! i felt horrible for alex who was clearly so exhausted/excited at this point. i was so sidetracked by the contractions i forgot how tired i was. we were even discussing epidurals at this point.

they moved us into a labor and delivery room. and i got all hooked up again and we waited. things were staying the same. she checked me about 2:30 and i was still the same stats. that's when she started backing off of the breaking of the water. i am 36w5d and since i wasn't a full 37 weeks they determined that they wouldn't stop me, but wouldn't help me along either.

at this point they decided i should try to get some rest. alex pulled out his little bed and i laid in the dark, breathing through the contractions that were still quite painful and regular. i considered asking about an epidural again when the doctor came back in.

well, as i got more fluids in me, the contractions started to die down somewhat. it was about 6am and they wanted me to get up and walk around to get things moving again. for 2 hours. we lapped the floor, looked at the babies in the nursery. talked to the nurses who were encouraging me on. i even started doing walking lunges down the deserted hallway, no joke.

the shift change came at 8am. the new doctor examined me. and my stats were still all the same. and then? they decided to send me home. the deemed the whole thing false labor.

i did not imagine once admitted that i'd be leaving that hospital with monkey still inside me. we got home around 9:30am disappointed, frustrated and tired.

and my contractions have basically stopped.

and the best part? we had called my mother around 5am to let her know what was happening. when i was discharged i called her to tell he and she told me she moved up her flight. she'll be here in the morning.

and that's that.

last night

last night i was able to have dinner with alovely, lovely woman and friend who helped me sort out my feeling about my mom deciding to come. after i left i had decided that i would tell her it would be best if she waited a bit to come. that alex and i needed to figure out things and settle in. and really? i just want it to be the two of us going to the hospital and being together at first. is that so wrong?

i felt good about it. my mom had called me duting dinner, but i figured i'd talk to her after. upon leaving the restaurant i checked my voicemail. she had left a message letting me know that she had BOUGHT HER TICKET FOR THIS SUNDAY, ONE WAY, OPEN-ENDED.

i have to say, i was in shock. not only is that in a few days (and i could potentially not have this baby for another month) but, um, hello? maybe check with us before buying a plane ticket!!?!?

i haven't seen my mother since the vegas debacle which was christmas 2005. and soon she'll be here. indefinitely.

i'm willing this baby be born before sunday. please, please let that happen.

today's verdict

at least 3cm dilated and 75% effaced.

IF i went until my due date the baby would be about 7-7.5lbs.

although he didn't commit to saying i'd be early, how can it be three more weeks?

my mom is deciding when she wants to come out. i'm ready for monkey, i'm not sure i'm ready for her...

at any rate, here's the nursery as it stands now. we're getting a valence, and i still need to paint leaves on that flower "stem" and bees on the walls and hand the shelves and that cute little monkey picture thing alex found. but i'm not sure everything is arranged the way i want it yet though... cuz i'm fickle like that.

waiting...

so close, yet so far still... i really am ready for this little one to make an appearance. i have a new leg problem. i think the little one is on a nerve or something because now my right leg will just spasm, hurt like hell, and give out simultaneously. it's quite fun. you can imagine what i look like when this happens! and if that weren't enough, my air bed, my godsend, my love... DIED. it will no longer hold inflation. no idea why. it's not a good thing at all! we're had it less than 2 months, this really isn't fair. it couldn't hold out a few more weeks? rrrr.

in fun news, i had been trying to convince my husband we should get some cleaning help. mainly because i really suck at it (i'm not a very good housewife at all) and i'll admit, i used the baby as a bargaining chip. as in, people will be visiting and he really doesn't want me doing alllllll thaaaaaat work, does he? ok, that makes me sound bad, but seriously, we got a great referral. that was totally beyond reasonable. but he still didn't seem on board. but that little sneak went behind my back and sent it up to surprise me. she comes tomorrow! i'm excited! but also scared. i mean, i know our house isn't so horrible, but i feel like it is. i have to hold myself back from cleaning in advance. luckily my leg will help that.

i also realized i hadn't really shared any pictures of my belly. weird. wasn't intentional. although it's much cuter clothed. you really don't want to see it otherwise. trust me.

so here's a point of comparison... since everyone keeps telling me i'm not big enough to be due in a few weeks.

here's 8 weeks versus about 35. what do you think?

any time now

just got back from our 35 week appointment. had the first check of how things are really going, since i've been having mad contractions. at least 50% effaced and 2cm dilated. apparently the contractions i'm having are being very effective and monkey is in perfect position (did you really expect less? ha!)

he said he has a few patients that are already past their due dates that aren't in as good of shape as i am already.

i think we're definitely looking at a may baby... woah!

i laugh in the face of uncomfortable

ha ha ha HA.

remember when i said i was uncomfortable? that was before what i started what i assume are braxton-hicks contractions. and before i realized i have zero clothes to wear for the sudden 80 degree weather. not that i'm complaining about the warm weather. not at all. but hot flashes plus long sleeve shirts, plus 80 degree weather? not fun. also when you have to go to a birthday party where there are about 40 people jammed into a little room without proper ventilation or cooling on said 80 degree day.

ah well. it's all good. it was actually really interesting seeing the "other" side of the family yesterday. (alex's dad's side, we don't get to see them often enough). every person there could not believe i only have SIX WEEKS left because i am "so tiny." i'm not sure who they were looking at, but... whatev. all except his dad. who proclaimed that i was "so big" now. uh, i guess that's better? it was cute when he got there that he came up to me with open arms... to wrap around my belly to say hello to monkey. yeah, no one cares about me anymore :)

the sad part for me was that everyone was asking when my shower was because they wanted to come. well, i have one THIS WEEKEND but it's more for my friends and alex's sisters/mom (yes his mom is coming after all). the two sides always stay kind of separate so i never thought of asking them to come. plus, they all stay in the detroit area and don't venture over to where we are much. but it didn't help me feel any less uncomfortable. we've decided after monkey arrives we'll have a little get together for that side of the family.

anyhow, so said clothes crisis (yes, it had me in tears on saturday morning) led to a trip to the maternity store in the mall (since the only old navy maternity is kind of a haul) where my husband (bless his patience) spent what had to be an hour bringing stuff to me in the dressing room. none of which fit correctly. also, i refuse to spend full-price for ridiculously over-priced clothing that will barely wear. yeah, i know. after all that we left with a pair of capris. they're great, but sheesh. that's it?

in other news, the nursery is still jammed with crap. the guest room still isn't done. (although it's close! i've been promised i can expect it to be done by this weekend). and i am looking forward to my little shower this weekend. should be fun!

33 weeks

today i'm 33 weeks along. when did that happen? seriously? my word.

we had a doctor appointment this morning. with the doctor that criticized my weight last time. i hadn't said anything to my regular doctor (although i kind of wanted to), and i wasn't really looking forward to seeing this doctor again. (especially after the chocolate bunny incident, which we don't really need to go into...ahem.)

at any rate, after chatting and listening to the heartbeat he tells me that everything is perfect, even my weight. he then said that he apologized for being "bad cop" last time i saw him, but that he was pleased to see when i was. huh. go figure.

at any rate, next appointment in 2 weeks when they will check my cervix (!!) and see where things are headed. holy crap that sounds so... final. doesn't it? man.

in other news, alex's mom bought us our travel system yesterday. we put together the stroller last night. that makes things real. looking at them in the store is one thing. actually driving it around our living room and then loading into your trunk (proving to your husband you're not a weakling and really CAN lift it all my yourself, even 8 months pregnant) is something entirely different.

we also have a breast feeding class tonight. we picked a pediatrician. you know, i think this is really going to happen.

uncomfortable

i've hit the very uncomfortable phase i think. monkey seems so big, so heavy. i can't tie my shoes, or even put them on that well. sleeping is becoming an issue again. my maternity clothes are starting to be too small... and it's friggin snowing -- HARD -- in mid-april, which not only is depressing but i'm sick again too.

and as ready as i am to be done with pregnancy, we're so not ready to have the baby at home. yes, yes, i know it will all work out... but someone *ahem* seems to have lost his drive on finishing the upstairs. this means that the guest room is empty, with no floor and all the crap (and i mean CRAP, the guest room used to be our we-have-nowhere-to-put-this-so-dump-it-in-there room) that was in the (larger) guest room previously is jammed into the nursery. yes, the nursery. the nursery that i so desperately want to finish. that i want to paint bees on the walls, that i want to make up the crib... that i want to hang little clothes in... that i just generally want READY. and i can't do a thing about it.

he was supposed to work on it this weekend. and even admitted he's feeling very far behind in preparations. problem? a friend of his (who is going through a divorce) is coming up from ohio this weekend. and our week-from-hell (classes! appts! doctors!) starts this weekend too... so basically, another weekend shot.

i'm frustrated. i don't know what to do. i'd work on it myself, but i can't.

oh, and my ob appt this coming monday? they scheduled me with the doctor who criticized me about my weight when i saw him. can't wait! (and yes, that means i'm obsessing. i can't help it...)

but i don't like teal...

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you. Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible. While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks. Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

par for the course

well i talked to my mom. for an hour and a half last night.

it went much as i expected. that is, we didn't address anything.

i wanted to take my cures from her, since she was the one who initiated the contact. she hadn't been feeling well (bronchitis) so we talked about that a little, then it basically turned into a catch up session. there were a few "digs" here and there, but it was mostly how i remember talking to her being. a lot about her, and not so much about anything i had to say. same ol, same ol.

the only reference to us not talking (oh, besides her asking me where i work now -- i've been at my new job 8 months) was when she mentioned she had been having lots of dreams about grandpa (her dad, the one i was really, really close to my entire life and i still miss terribly) and i mentioned i had too. and her theory for this was that he was trying to tell us we needed to talk. that was kinda sweet, in her way.

she also asked if i wanted her to come out when the baby was born.

when it was time to go, it was a little awkward. there was a weird pause then she was like "bye" and that was it. uh, ok.

then she called me this morning, to tell m e they think she has pneumonia now. for the record, we used to talk every single morning on my ride into work (when i had one) about whatever. so this was an old pattern. she did however say that she was glad we talked yesterday and that she had missed talking to me.

so, that's all i got.

sunshine and breezes

man, i've thought for awhile that i have some form of S.A.D. and i have to believe it's true. my attitude the last few days had done a complete 360. not that i was in a particularly bad mood, but it's amazing that sitting in my new office (with my gargantuan new monitor that i have yet to hook up but clearly is much too large for my desk..) next to the windows, with them WIDE OPEN at 8am, sunshine pouring in, birds chirping and a cool breeze coming in is amazing.

please don't take it away.

i know the weather is supposed to turn again, but i will stay in my state of bliss as long as i can. although the crash is going to be rough.

proof that my attitude is totally different? i'm not at all phased by two things that would normally have me all grumpy and moody. one, i woke up with a cold. and two, i'm going to be talking to my mother this evening.

i should have plenty to say tomorrow.