the year itch

i've had the year itch in regards to lots of things. jobs, cars, people (to some degree)... i've not been at a job more than a year. well, except cdg, but that wasn't by much. and i LOVE that i'm still on their site. that just rocks.

and i'm getting it again. but i think that has a lot ot do with the general unsettling that had descended on our office. well, at least with most of us. the fdwq bunch, as keith so eloquently puts it. it would be great of something happens. but i'm not sure it will. or at least not the way it should.

ok, i'm going ot admit something here that is probably pretty obvious but i had not been willing to admit. ready? i'm not sure i was ready to jump into a new relationship. wow, that's a shocker huh? although my last relationship was over a long time before i admitted it was (years), i think i needed time to myself. on my own. as much as i didn't want it. i didn't look for alex, he kind of fell in my lap. and he's fantastic, don't get me wrong. i love him completely. but am i being 100% back to him? i don't know. i can't honestly answer that. and that bothers me.

i know alot of my bad tendencies and bahaviors are still there. i have not fully repaired myself. last night is a perfect case in point. that's what's got me thinking...