tough day

as much as i anticipated this answer, it's had me on the verge of tears all day. i know going home right now isn't going to make me feel better. alex cancelled his plans for tonight cuz he "didn't feel well." bullshit. i know he wants to be home with me because he knows how upset i am. and that's fine and all, but i didn't want him to cancel his plans to babysit me. i'll be fine. i always am, somehow. he even emailed keith to "make sure someone is watching out for her since i can't." i dind't know whether to be awwwed by that or angry. if i hadn't told keith what was going on i would have been livid, because keith, of course, asked lot sof questions. and i would have felt obligated to tell him. at least he already knew, i guess. people are asking me if i can appeal. i don't know. maybe. i'm not sure i have the energy to though. maybe i'll feel differently in a day or two or twenty.