i did it!!!

i'll be damned. i got a response from my mother. first, my email to her (in response to the final one my SIL received, posted earlier).

I asked (SIL) to send me the email in which you said you would not come to our baby shower.

So, that's how you see it?

That's very interesting. I guess the cards I've sent you over the past year (not getting any in return), the emails, the gifts I have sent for the grandparents-to-be, the ultrasound photos, and the fact that I asked for you be invited to the shower means I have cut you off.

The last email I sent to you (to which you never responded) contained this bit at the end:

Certainly I want you to be a part of my life and the life of Alex and your (future) grandchildren, but I cannot have things continue to happen like the Vegas trip. I just can't. And I don't want to.

I guess that also means (to you) that I am cutting you off. In case it wasn't clear, my meaning was that I want you in my life, but not in the way you were in Vegas. If you have a problem with something I've done, tell me. I don't want to play the games anymore.

I know it's hard for you to see that you are wrong ever (as it is for most people, including myself). And I can respect that. No one is perfect. I feel that I have given you several opportunities to be part of your grandchild's life. It is quite apparent to me by your actions that you are not interested. Bear in mind, sending things to my husband doesn't count. This is OUR child, not just his.

Know that the decision to be "cut off" is one that you, and you alone, are making. Do not try to place the blame on me or Alex.

You are my mother, and I do love you.

And then, this morning in my inbox:

"The way you were in Vegas" - I could say that to you also - however, Vegas was the culmination of many issues and I am not yet ready to address them with you.

Oh my. Still more than I expected to get.