i should have known.

but then, why don't i feel better about it? so of course we talked about stratford last night. it was a very short conversation:

me: i don't know what to do about stratford
him: what do you mean?
me: it's going to be so expensive
him: who said you were paying for anything?
me: no one, but it's going to be so expensive
him: this is important to me and something that i really want to share with you.
me: but...
him: i don't want to hear anything else about it, ok?

so... i mean, i didn't expect him to say, "hey, fork over 1/2" i knew he wanted to pay. i just wasn't comfortable not being able to do the same for him i guess.

i was just generally depressed over money yesterday. that's what paydays do to me now. i may as well jsut get paid $20/wk because that's all i have left after bills.

actually, if it weren't for having to pay off joe, i'd be ok. that is jsut looming over my head. if i send him money this week, i don't pay something else.

it's a vicious circle.

i also don't have enough money to paint, since i have to buy another gallon and a few random things. just not in the budget this check.

it makes me very sad.